Guy of the Millenium

Chalumpa was born in the small village of Waco in the province of Texas near the end of the twentieth century. From a very young age it was clear that there was something unique about this man. He held seminars as an infant on everything from U.S. foreign policy ineptitudes to brainstorming sessions as to where our world was headed. Some called him a prophet as he kept a detailed journal that perfectly described the fall of the Berlin wall 6 years before it actually came down, and he even forsaw the coming of the worldwide phenomenon that is Ice Cream Dots.
	He was approached at the age of 17 to be the spokesman for 34 different products. Ever conscious of his public status and influence on the average man, he accepted only one offer. Chosen for its power to greatly help his fellow man, that product was... the unmatched Polytron.

So, as our world spins in the tides of change, it gives every human hope and assurance to know that this man is watching over our existence. Day to day we can ignore the big picture of war, politics, and exactly what a polytron does because we know that Chalumpa is tucked away somewhere solving every question this world can conjure. So take heart world, we are all in very good hands.